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I posted on Facebook, “Michael Friedman was one of the best friends I’ve ever had, an incomparable talent and wit, probably the smartest man I’ve ever known, and an awesome, hilarious roommate. The next morning I saw my next door neighbor on the staircase and I burst into tears in his arms. I cried and I cried, and I was alone in LA. I called my mother and then I called Rob, now my ex-husband, and then I talked to Cat and Jason. I was crying and I was mystified and I was furious and then I was so agonizingly sad. But I was piecing it together and had to ask her if that was what happened. The conversation was at first very confusing because Liz had assumed I knew Michael was sick and that he was sick because he had AIDS. I immediately started shaking and losing focus and felt deep sobs coming through. While the phone was charging, I opened Facebook on my desktop computer and saw that Adam Feldman, one of Time Out New York’s theater critics and a friend of all of ours from college, had posted, “RIP Michael Friedman …” Obviously something was wrong, but it could be anything. “Hey there – can I give you a call? Let me know if you’re around or just give me a call.” I saw the texts and then my phone died. I was having a fun chat with a neighbor when I got text messages from Liz. I had a great lunch with an old friend I hadn’t seen in many years. I was still on an emotional high from Burning Man, which I’d returned from four days before.
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Michael sang that he wouldn’t, but he did leave me. Last month, he died of AIDS, and on Monday night, well over a thousand people attended his memorial at the Public Theater. I stayed with Curtis for three nights last weekend, and at Jason and Liz’s for another two. My husband Rob and I were leaving New York in a few weeks, and three of my best friends were telling me they’d never leave. Anyway: The song had meaning beyond the joke. Honestly, I couldn’t hear Michael from my chair however many feet away. Jason and Curtis and Michael did sing it together, but Michael’s voice was coming from Curtis’s cell phone. As Curtis has said repeatedly, “It should be I would never leave you!” It’s also a beautiful song. It’s ridiculous, since of course you can’t leave your Siamese twin. 1 Blonde Siamese twins sing it to each other. Curtis and Jason and Michael were supposed to sing “ I Will Never Leave You” from Side Show, a show-stopping ballad from a show that as far as we knew then only I liked. He was at the airport in Long Beach, having missed his flight. Michael sang at my wedding, but he wasn’t actually there.